All Too Well
by I'llbeyourhero
Summary: Rachel remembers certain moments with a certain blonde, as she performs a song at her concert that was inspired by their relationship.


_**Title: **__All Too Well_

_**Author: **__I'llbeyourhero_

_**Rating: **__T for language, and mild sexual content_

_**Summary: **__Rachel remembers certain moments with a certain blonde, as she performs a song at her concert that was inspired by their relationship. _

_**Note: **__The song is All Too Well is owned, and performed by Taylor Swift; I just changed a few lines to accommodate my story. I suppose this is a song fic, but it's my first song fic but the moment I heard this song I knew I had to do it.  
_

_**All Too Well**_

Rachel took in a deep breath as she readjusted the guitar strap on her shoulder backstage. It was her first tour since her album dropped, and the crowd was huge, her nerves were at a high but she didn't let them get the best of her. Her career had taken off; she was a huge success, with having Broadway under her belt, due to being in multiple productions during college and now a record deal and a chart topping album. The album which wouldn't have existed if that record executive wasn't in the audience during her most recent Broadway play, on her last night of the show's run, which happened to be 6 months after she graduated NYADA.

Now she was 25, time had passed since she was signed, and since the record was written, produced, recorded and landed on the shelves. She was shocked at how fast it sold, shocked that people had approached her after concerts telling her they loved her in Wicked. Rachel Berry had always wanted to be a Broadway star, but she never expected to become a worldwide recording artist; with millions upon millions of fans.

"Hey, you okay?" Her guitarist Jon, who was going to assist her on the upcoming song she was about to perform, approached her back stage while tightening his own guitar strap.

"I'm fine. I just get a little upset when we have to perform this song. It's really personal." She said, sending him a small smile. She was close to all of the guys that played in her band, she may have been a solo artist but unlike most she enjoyed getting close to them, getting to know them. They were after all the people who played her music, and without them there wouldn't be any.

"Well we can always change the set list after this show..."

"No, I would like to keep singing it. It may be hard to do so, and it touches a part of me the way nothing else can but I can't stop performing it." Rachel said, before taking in a deep breath. The brunette always felt as if she needed to get the words out there, show the world the song that she wrote for _her_ and because of _her_. Deep down Rachel hoped that _she_ would hear it one day, and return to her; but that was a wish that only came true while she dreamed.

They gave her the cue and she walked out on stage with a smile on her face. The song she was about to sing, was always the first song she performed during her encore. She liked to start her encore set, with a deep, slow song and this one had fit so well. It had also been the only song on the record she had written all by herself; it was her painful memories scattered on a paper, her heartbreak released for the world to hear, and the only thing that still connected _them_. The blue lights were dimmed as she sat down on her stool, and Jon followed suit and sat down on the stool beside her. Every time she performed this song the lights were always blue, it was after all_ her _favorite color.

"Hey San Francisco!" She said, a greeting she had used after her very first song of the night but she always used it again before this song because it went with her speech; which Rachel Berry never changed. "How is everyone enjoying the concert tonight?" She asked as she readjusted the microphone stand in front of her, shifting the second one-the smaller one-closer to her guitar. The crowd had screamed back in response, and she smiled, the energy of the crowd is always what kept her going. "This song was the last to go onto the record, but the first one I chose to be a part of it. It's my favorite track, and it means a lot to me; it's basically my heart in a song and I'm glad that you all let me share it with you." _I'm hoping it will bring you back to me, _filled her mind and she took in a deep breath before she began to strum her guitar; Jon wouldn't join in until the chorus, and as she began to play the music the crowd silenced, minus a few screams and their eyes locked onto her.

"I walked through the door with you, the air was cold,  
But something about it felt like home somehow.  
And I left my scarf there at your sister's house,  
And you still got it in your drawer even now."

She sang softly, the memories filling her head.

_They laughed as Quinn opened the front door of her sister's house. The air had been cold and Rachel shivered as the blonde pulled her past the threshold, their glove covered hands locked tightly. It was winter break, of their senior year of high school and Rachel had joined Judy and her best friend for the holiday season. There was no way Rachel could refuse the invitation (one day she would be glad she didn't because it was an adventure she would never forget; the start of something she'd never quite get over). Quinn giggled as Rachel almost tripped over her feet, as they shuffled fully inside with their snow covered boots. Quinn let go of her best friends hand and the front door clicked behind them as the blonde gently shut it; the cold air was finally stopped from seeping inside. _

_The house was quiet; Judy and Frannie had left to go out for a mother and daughter dinner, and the two teenagers had acted like little kids again when they were home alone and built a snow man outside, much to Rachel's pleasure. _

"_Quinn…" Rachel's voice was muffled by the scarf around her neck, which the diva had put snuggly over her mouth as well to protect her vocal cords from the cold. _

_The blonde turned to face her, at the mention of her name and she couldn't help but laugh when she saw that the brunette had snow covering her hair, and a lot on her jacket; along with her mitts and the bottom of her pants. Rachel pouted, but it went unnoticed to Quinn seen as the pink scarf was covering her lips. The diva didn't see what was so funny, the snow was making her body cold and a small shiver crept over her spine and the blonde caught it because the chill was overly visible. _

"_Rach, you're freezing." Quinn's voice softened and she looked into chocolate brown eyes, that were so warm that Quinn literally felt as if her body was warming up just by looking into them. _

_Quinn took off her gloves, and placed them on the floor not caring that she was messing up her sister's hardwood. Her dad wasn't around, so things were a lot more lenient and she didn't have to worry about getting in trouble for making a mess. Rachel followed suit and removed hers as well; her shaky hands-thanks to the cold winter night-throwing them onto the floor over Quinn's. The blonde unzipped her zipper and peeled off her jacket, shrugging it off her shoulders. Her yellow sweater was now in view and Rachel smiled, she loved how Quinn looked in yellow then again she always liked how Quinn looked. The girl was breathtakingly beautiful, and Rachel could never help but stare. The blonde hung up her coat and Rachel watched her, not being able to take her attention off of her. Next the ex-cheerleader kicked off her boots, getting snow all over the floor which made Rachel laugh. Hazel eyes snapped up from the floor and onto the diva, who's laugh, was muddled from that damn scarf. _

"_We'll have to clean that up." Rachel mumbled, and Quinn smiled, thinking she was absolutely adorable. _

"_You're right, but first…let's get you out of that jacket." The blonde said it with a slight husk to her voice; it was different than the normal husk that always accompanied her raspy, alto, sweet sounding voice. The brunette could have sworn there was a seductive undertone to her words, but Rachel brushed it off._

"_I assure you Quinn; I am capable of taking off my own coat." Rachel pulled at the zipper, but it wouldn't budge and Quinn began to laugh. Rachel groaned, realizing that the scarf was stuck in her zipper, and judging by the blonde's facial expression, she knew; hence her statement. The brunette blushed in both embarrassment and in foolishness because she couldn't believe she had thought that Quinn made an innuendo. The diva tugged on it once again, and got nothing accomplished, the scarf was jammed in there and she sighed heavily. _

"_Are you sure about that Berry?" There was a sweet hint of teasing in her voice and Rachel smiled under her scarf. _

_The ex-cheerleader always got to her, in the best ways and even when she jokingly teased her even back when it was mean the diva felt noticed. When Quinn was mean to her, she didn't care about the insults, or the horrible names; she felt happy because the girl she crushed on paid attention to her. However, the viciousness subsided and even though the teasing was all lighthearted now, Rachel still felt the same-noticed. Except now, she didn't just feel noticed, she felt cared for, and she felt flirty-she even thought Quinn was being flirty-every time the blonde said something that teased her. _

_Quinn walked over to her slowly, her wet socks due to the snow that got into her boots leaving slight wet prints on the hardwood. "Need some help?" she asked softly, stopping in front of the girl. _

_They were close and Rachel felt her heart rate begin to pick up; it always did when they were in a close radius. Sometimes it was hard to even concentrate when the blonde was around. Thinking about Quinn, and spacing out while they were playing in the snow is what made the blonde successful in her sneak attack, and Rachel wound up flying into the snow thanks to a playful tackle from the other girl. _

"_I do." She mumbled out, a heat wave slowly taking over her. The diva wasn't sure if it was because she was still in her winter gear, in the heated house, or if it was because Quinn was inches away from her and all she could think about was pulling her by the hips to hold her against her. _

_Quinn smiled and reached out, her slender fingers taking hold of the scarf and the zipper. She fought with them for a bit, Rachel watching her as she did so. _

"_Got it." Quinn whispered, managing to free the scarf from the zipper first. She slowly took it off of the girl's neck and draped it over the back of the arm chair that was close by-they were standing in the family room after all. "I love that scarf…" the ex-cheerleader said absentmindedly. _

_Rachel licked her dry lips, it had felt nice to finally have the piece of clothing taken off. The air hit her lips and she took in a deep breath; it felt as if her lips and skin could breathe again. "Why is that?" _

"_I don't know…I just do." Was Quinn's simple response and Rachel knew that that was the only explanation she would receive. _

_Quinn grabbed the zipper of Rachel's coat and pulled it down, it was the only sound in the house that they heard besides their breathing due to the room being extremely quiet. Rachel smiled softly at Quinn, thinking that she was sweet and the Quinn Fabray she use to know wouldn't have shown this side of her, and she was extremely happy that the blonde had slapped her that night on their junior prom. Really, it started it all. It started the friendship, started it because Quinn had fears and that was her main problem, and Rachel was there to sort them all out and they just…bonded. The friendship managed to stay intact during New York when Finn pursued Rachel due to the brunette rejecting him after the boy kissed her during pretending. For once, the boy didn't get in the way…and all the diva wanted, was Quinn and couldn't bring herself to accept Finn's advances even if she wanted to. Her crush on the blonde was there since the moment she saw her enter that high school, but it intensified that junior year night. _

_Quinn carefully helped the brunette out of her coat, and hung it up beside her own. "Feel better?" _

"_A little, I-I could use some hot chocolate though." Rachel shivered yet again, even though she felt like she was sweltering. "But only if it's-" _

"_Vegan friendly," Quinn said finishing her sentence and Rachel's stomach twisted in a very pleasant way. She loved that Quinn remembered small things about her, something Finn didn't and never did. "I'll go make some, get comfortable on the couch and pick a movie." The blonde ordered but it didn't come out forced, it was sweet and sounded more like she was suggesting it then telling her what to do. _

_Rachel nodded and smiled fondly at her, "Thank you Quinn." _

"_You don't need to thank me Rach," The blonde whispered softly, before walking out of the room and towards the kitchen. Soon the brunette could hear the ex-cheerleader preparing their drinks and suddenly the thought of her and Quinn doing this in their own place as a couple popped into her head. She smiled at the thought and wished it would come true, being like this with her alone, it felt like home; like they were home…together. _

_A soft humming filled her ears as she looked at Frannie's movie collection, and Rachel smiled softly. She loved Quinn's singing voice and soon the humming turned into gentle singing. Rachel perked up and the corner of her lips raised even more, as it filled her senses. Rachel's feet were moving before she could help it and she walked into the kitchen as if the blonde was a magnet and she was drawn to her. _

"_You really do have a beautiful voice Quinn." Rachel whispered, startling the girl. The blonde jumped and swiftly turned around to face the diva, with her back now against the counter; her cheeks were a dusty shade of pink and her shy smile lit up her face. _

"_I thought it was occasionally sharp, because it lacked years of training?" The blonde said in a teasing manor, but there was shyness hidden behind her words and Rachel felt giddy inside. Quinn Fabray was shy and she was the cause. The blonde was never shy, it was a rare occurrence but Rachel enjoyed seeing this side of her. _

_Rachel took a few steps forward, until she was in front of the blonde. Their bodies not far from each other and the diva bit her bottom lip, while Quinn held in a breath for a short moment. "I can't believe you even remember me saying that, in fact I am shocked you were listening in the first place. Also that statement may be fairly true but it is still very beautiful Quinn. I-it gives me chills every time." _

_Quinn's eyebrow raised and the brunette felt her knees buckle, that damn eyebrow raise got her every time. It was incredibly sexy, and might as well be her kryptonite. "All good chills I hope." Quinn said, a laugh hidden behind her words. _

"_Oh, they're definitely all good." Rachel took another step forward, their bodies inching closer. Quinn swallowed thickly at the tiny amount of space in between them and she looked into soft chocolate eyes, that were staring at her with such a deep intensity that it made the blonde let out a quiet gasp. _

_She felt a shiver run up her back as Rachel finally closed in on her, their bodies now touching. Quinn felt all her senses perk up and she felt like she was on fire. It was so intense but if the diva were to back away, she'd crumble to the floor because she had longed to feel her body against hers, and she couldn't let the sensation fade, especially now. _

_Before she knew it though, her mouth opened and one single word had escaped through slightly parted lips, as if she was asking the brunette what she was doing. "Rach…" _

"_Hmm?" She acknowledged her name, but was so focused on the blonde that she couldn't form a response. Her eyes landed on Quinn's tongue which peeked out to wet her lips and was gone seconds later and the diva swallowed thickly, wanting nothing but to connect their lips. _

_Silence surrounded them and they stood there for a while, just staring at each other and Rachel gently brushed some hair out of Quinn's face, allowing her fingers to dance over soft, porcelain skin and the sensation caused the blonde to sigh contently and her eyes to flutter closed. Rachel took in a deep breath, her confidence heightened due to the ex-cheerleaders reaction to the gentle caresses and she licked her suddenly dry lips, and rubbed a soft circle on the blonde's cheek. _

"_Can I kiss you?" _

_Quinn's eyes flew open at the question and she looked into the chocolate orbs that were softly studying her face, and there was some fear there; which had crept up due to the blonde's reaction. Rachel couldn't help but feel like she messed up, like she crossed a line but her heart calmed down, and so did her freak out the moment that Quinn silently nodded, using no words as a response. _

_Rachel took in a nervous breath and took her time as she leaned in, the moment was enough to start off a parade of fireworks as their lips slowly collided. Quinn gasped at the feel and it felt as if an electrical spark had gone through her and soon she was kissing back. Their lips danced together slowly, and Rachel's eyes had slid closed, along with Quinn's as they got lost in the moment. Their bodies melded together as the kiss remained slow, and languid. The sparks continued to fill Quinn, and her lips were like a static ball of electricity and she didn't want to stop the feeling, instead she changed it up a little bit and picked up the passion of their kiss, but still kept it at a leisurely pace. _

_Rachel's body involuntarily leaned into Quinn's and the blonde's hands which had been gripping the counter, shifted to the brunette's hips and Rachel found herself being pulled against her, their bodies grazing in a delicious way. Quinn trailed her tongue along the diva's bottom lip and the sensation made her groan, which parted her lips. The blonde took full advantage of that and slipped her tongue inside, which Rachel welcomed. The moment their tongues touched, they both moaned and started an unhurried battle. Rachel's hands which had started off on Quinn's shoulders when she first leaned in, were now buried in blonde locks and as the kiss deepened and became more heated she gently pulled at it, causing Quinn to moan softly. It was a sound Rachel would never be able to get sick of. _

_Suddenly Rachel sucked on the blonde's bottom lip causing a husky moan to escape her lips and the diva gently nipped her lip in response to the sound and slowly pulled away, needing air. They breathed heavily, their chests moving greatly as they took in the oxygen they needed. Their eyes were connected and anyone who would have walked in on the scene would have been able to feel the intense current between them. Hazel eyes searched a sea of brown and Rachel smiled softly before gently pecking Quinn's lips, before taking a step back. Their first kiss had been magical, something neither one of them would ever be able to erase. _

The audience began to get into the song more, and the drummer who had made his way onto the stage, pretty much unnoticed at the beginning of the song began to play, and soon it was just him and Rachel playing the tune of the song; the sound of it echoing off the stadium walls.

"Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze.  
We're singing in the car, getting lost Upstate.  
Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place,  
And I can picture it after all these days."

She sang the words, attempting to keep the crack out of her voice but it managed to shine through anyway; but it wasn't like anyone noticed, or so she thought.

_Quinn stopped singing along and giggled as she turned up the music in the car, the previous song had been funny and Rachel singing along to it was hard to not laugh at. Her IPod was plugged in, and she had allowed Rachel to take control over the music. It was their first year of college, and October had just begun. Quinn had driven up to New York to visit and they had decided to take a small trip, not too far away. They decided since it was a weekend, and they needed the time together, to travel Upstate to Niagara Falls, the American side. Rachel had heard it was lovely and gushed about it. She had also explained to Quinn over Skype that it looked amazing, especially the falls and absolutely needed to see it and that they would cross the border if they had to to get a better look. Her wish was granted and when her girlfriend told her about the small weekend trip, Rachel wanted to jump her the instant the words left her mouth-and she had._

_The blonde took Rachel's hand in her own over the console and the brunette melted at the simple touch, she always did. Touching Quinn was addicting and as they sat there, listening to the music that filled the car her thumb made soft, gentle circles on the girl's soft skin. The breeze came in through the half opened window as they drove along the highway, and Rachel took in a deep breath allowing her head to rest back onto the seat. _

"_I'm glad you're here. I missed you." Rachel whispered; her voice was barely heard over the music. Quinn turned it down, in order to hear her girlfriend and she turned to her briefly, just to smile, before returning her eyes to the road. _

"_I'm missed you too babe." Quinn said softly. _

_Rachel smiled and watched the blonde softly; it was an activity she could do for hours. Studying her was something she never got bored of, she loved the way Quinn bit into her bottom lip when a song that reminded her of their relationship came on, or when her eyebrows furrowed as she studied the road really hard. The diva loved the way she'd sigh contently sometimes as the music filled the car, and her fingers danced over the back of her hand. _

"_Rachel, please don't kill me…" Quinn's voice was strained and she was looking at the signs on the roads and groaned. "I think we're lost." _

"_What? How could we be lost? I mapped out the route, and frankly Quinn it wasn't that hard." _

_Quinn frowned, "I know, I think I just took a wrong turn." _

_Rachel rolled her eyes, "Only you could get us lost." _

_Quinn huffed and pulled over onto the side of the road, so she could figure out where she went wrong to get them back on track. Rachel giggled and turned in her seat to face Quinn, "You know Quinn; I will say that it definitely is not an adventure with you unless we get lost. It seems to be a routine every time we go on a trip." _

_The blonde furrowed her brows and turned slightly to glance at her girlfriend, "If I remember correctly you're the one who got us lost when we drove to New Haven over the summer to tour Yale." _

"_In my defense-" _

"_Nope, you don't get to defend yourself." _

_Rachel gasped and raised an eyebrow, "And why not, you know perfectly well Quinn Fabray that that was not my fault. It was my first time driving that far out of Lima, and I did fairly well. However apparently-" _

"_Nope still counts." The blonde said, with a teasing smirk in place._

_Rachel pouted and crossed her arms over her chest before sinking down in her seat, as much as she could with the seatbelt in place. _

"_Rach, not the pout you know what that does to me." _

_Rachel turned her head and looked at her girlfriend, her pout still in place. She knew exactly what it did to her, and she was determined to use it to her advantage. It was the great power that she held over Quinn, and although she took advantage of it; it never got old. _

"_Rach…" The blonde whined. "That isn't fair." _

"_It is perfectly fair Quinn." She said, starting to pout again after she was done releasing her brief words. _

"_Whatever you say Berry…" Quinn smirked as she unbuckled her seat belt. Rachel watched her with curious eyes, wondering what she was going to do. The last time they got lost, Quinn wound up winning that fight by stating that she'd just fix it by finding her own way by hitchhiking and meeting her in New Haven, which had the brunette rushing out of the car, and sticking down the blonde's thumb herself. _

_It didn't take long for Quinn to get out of the car and head over to the side of the road, where the grassy field that they were driving past was. Rachel watched her intently and smiled softly when Quinn raised two fingers and made a 'come here' motion. The brunette loved the way Quinn always beckoned her over; it always caused a warm feeling inside her stomach. _

_The diva unbuckled her own seatbelt, and exited the car without a second thought. "I swear Quinn, if you are pulling me out of this car to lead me to a-" _

"_Just come here baby." The blonde said loudly, so that Rachel could hear her. The air was a little chilly, due to it being fall and the trees blew in the wind, making leaves fall off and onto the ground. Rachel kicked a few leaves that had blown their way, due to some trees in the close distance. _

_She made her way over to her girlfriend and without warning the blonde wrapped her arms around her, and picked her up softly and spun her gently. Rachel blushed and giggled, holding back a laugh while Quinn did that was pointless, because it always put a smile on her face; even on the saddest of days. Her feet soon connected to the ground once more and Rachel wrapped her arms around Quinn's neck and smiled up at her. The blonde returned a loving smile and gently pecked her girlfriend's lips. _

"_Why exactly are we out here Quinn?" _

_The blonde shrugged, "Maybe I just wanted to hold you, and I can't do that while I'm driving…can I?" her eyes twinkled and her face lit up. A familiar pink blush coated Quinn's cheeks due to the cheesiness of her statement, but Rachel swooned hard and she wondered if it was possible to fall any harder for the beautiful woman in front of her; and it definitely was. _

"_Who would have thought that you could be so cheesy Quinn Fabray?" _

"_I've always been cheesy, you just didn't know it." Quinn smiled and giggled at the wide eyed expression that painted Rachel's face. "You bring it out in me," The blonde said, her eyes becoming a lot more serious then they had been. "In fact, you bring out the best in me Rachel and if it wasn't for you I don't know where I'd be right now." _

_Rachel swooned, harder. "Quinn…" Rachel pecked the girls lips again and the blonde pulled her close, their bodies firmly pressed together in a tight embrace. _

"_I love you Rach." Quinn breathed out and Rachel's breath got stuck in her throat at hearing the words. _

_They had been together since their very first kiss, they had made love for the first time as a couple-Rachel's first in general-at their senior prom like in a clichéd romantic movie but the words had never been said, because with them the actions had always said more than the words, and Rachel could tell many times in their relationship that Quinn wanted to say them, and she would mean them but she hadn't been ready; the diva knew there was even some fear when it came to admitting it, on the blonde's end. Rachel never knew why her girlfriend was so scared to say it, she had thought about it many times, wondering if it was because everyone who claimed they loved her walked out, or if it was because she was afraid of rejection, or if she thought the statement would scare the diva off. She wondered if it was the mix of all three of those things. She looked up into hazel eyes, and as she drowned in the pool of hazel, she noticed the vulnerability in the other girl's eyes, the honesty, the fear, and the love itself. It was overwhelming in a nice way and Rachel connected their lips roughly, needing the contact. _

_They kissed for a while, standing in the middle of a field on the side of the road, in the middle of an autumn breeze and it wasn't until Rachel shivered that they finally broke apart, for something besides air, and managed to put some space in between them. _

"_I love you too Quinn." Rachel whispered, while looking into the mesmerizing eyes that were focused on her. As Quinn's lips curled up into a smile, her eyes blinking a few times to hide the slight wetness that had filled them and as her hair blew gently in the wind, Rachel felt breathless at the sight. It was a picture perfect moment as they just stood there; allowing the feelings to overcome them, road trips with Quinn had become one of Rachel's favorite activities that day. _

Rachel took in a deep breath, and continued to sing while still managing to play her guitar. Sometimes the intensity of the song made her focus shift, and keeping up with the guitar could be a challenge but she always did it anyway.

"And I know it's long gone,  
And that magic's not here no more,  
And I might be okay,  
But I'm not fine at all."

The beat of the song began to pick up and Jon joined in with his guitar and her other guitarist who had emerged on stage when her drummer had began to drum his electrical guitar, adding a spice to the semi-slow ballad. Rachel took a deep breath, and sang out the next verse; while her eyes shifted over the audience.

" 'Cause there we are again on that little town street.  
You almost ran the red 'cause you were looking over at me.  
Wind in my hair, I was there, I remember it all too well."

_It was hard for the girls to believe that they had made it through their first year of college. It was something they knew they could do, but it was challenging for the both of them. Quinn had dedicated most of her year to the school play, writing it and staring in it and Rachel had dedicated her year to challenging herself, auditioning for plays and just managing to get through her dance class unscathed. As soon as summer had hit, Quinn had met the brunette in New York, stayed a few days and then they decided to take part in another road trip, and drive back to Lima to stay for a while. It was summer after all and they both missed their families, and missed each other. _

_Quinn drove down an all too familiar street, passing their old high school causing them both to grimace. Their best year in that horrible place had been their last, because they had been together and because breaking out of Lima had been so much closer, and neither of them could wait. _

_The windows were opened, allowing the soft summer breeze to trail into the car, causing Rachel and Quinn's hair to blow slightly in time with the gentle wind. Rachel's hand was wrapped in Quinn's over the console like it always was when they went for a drive, and as always her thumb trailed soothing patterns on the back of Quinn's hand; her feathery touch, leaving goosebumps in its wake. _

"_We fought so hard to get out of this town, and now here we are," Rachel said, her voice hiding a small laugh, "We still manage to come back even when we leave it all behind us." She added, glancing at Quinn as the girl drove, heading towards her home-well the place she use to call home. _

"_The town may not be worth visiting, but the people we left behind are." She whispered softly, Rachel hummed in response and turned away, her attention shifting to the window as she looked at the stuff they were driving by. She would hate to admit it but she missed Lima and she knew that her girlfriend had too. _

_Rachel began to hum as she shifted once again, her head rested against the back of the seat and her eyes slid closed as she allowed herself to relax. It had been a long drive after all, and even though they were about 10 minutes away from Judy's house, she needed to close her eyes, if only for a moment. Quinn squeezed her hand lightly and the brunette let out a content sigh, "I love you." She murmured, her eyes still closed, but her head was now tilted in Quinn's general direction. _

_Quinn smiled and turned her head, briefly taking her eyes off the road, "I love you too." The sight before her was breathtaking, Rachel always was and she couldn't help but watch her for a few more seconds, and as she began to fall under a trance a loud honk from another car pulled her back into reality and she slammed on the breaks causing her car to come to a sudden stop, her breathing had picked up and she gripped the steering wheel hard, her knuckles turning white. Rachel's eyes had flung open and she stared at her girlfriend with wide eyes, they had almost ran a red light, something the blonde never did. In fact this was the first time, both girl's had been this close to getting involved in a car accident. Their hearts pounded, and they attempted to calm down their heavy breathing and their panic soon started to dissipate. _

_One they both calmed down, Rachel noticed the light had turned green and mentioned it to Quinn, the blonde began to drive again and she was happy when they pulled into her mother's drive way and she was able to put the car in park. _

"_You know…" Rachel said softly, her eyes now on her girlfriend, "You really should pay more attention to the road when you're driving." The diva teased, a small smirk pulling at her lips. _

"_Well, that's difficult because you're very distracting." The blonde leaned over the best she could, while still buckled in and Rachel giggled and met her halfway, and they succeeded in sharing a small kiss. _

"_Now let's grace your mother with our presence shall we." Rachel said, before unbuckling her seatbelt. Quinn watched her girlfriend, and licked her lips the taste of strawberry lips gloss fell over her taste buds, the taste of Rachel's lips was something she could never get enough of. _

"Photo album on the table, your cheeks were turning red.  
You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-size bed  
And your mother's telling stories about you on the gymnastics team  
You tell me about your past, thinking your future was me."

_Judy pointed to a picture in the photo album that was wide open on the coffee table, and Rachel smiled wide and she took in the adorable picture on the page. Quinn blushed a deep crimson color and Rachel glanced up at her, thinking she was adorable as she stood there embarrassed. _

_Looking at old photo albums was not how Quinn wanted to spend their third Christmas together as a couple. She may have been in her third year of college-well the beginning of it- but as they stared at the photo album, she felt like a high school student, in their first relationship. _

"_Mom, come on can we just close the book and-" _

"_Come on Quinnie, she'll wind up seeing them one day once you get married." _

_Quinn groaned; marriage was something they had mentioned, their future was something they talked about often but the blonde didn't bring it up too much, because in truth it terrified her. "Come on, I was a hideous little kid." _

_Rachel let out a giggle as she looked at a picture of a seven year old Quinn, with a large pair of glasses sitting on top of a small nose gracing her face. There were pillows surrounding her as she sat securely in the center of a twin sized bed, her mouth was open slightly in the picture as the person who took the picture caught her in a fit of laughter. Frannie was laying on the bed, close to her smiling at her little sister and as Rachel looked at the photo with a smile on her face, she thought it was precious. After she flipped a few more pages, she came to some photos of a girl who was about 11, in a gymnastics uniform. Quinn grimaced at the photos and looked away, but Rachel smiled at them. The brunette glanced up at her girlfriend and frowned slightly when she saw the disgusted look on Quinn's face. _

"_Quinn sweetie, you were adorable." Rachel whispered soothingly, trying to get Quinn to look at her. _

"_No, I really wasn't Rach…" The blonde sighed heavily and walked out of the room, her head bowed slightly and it broke Rachel's heart. _

"_That photo," Judy said, pointing to a picture of Quinn holding a gymnastic trophy that was almost as big as she was. Rachel's attention fell down and onto the photo and she smiled softly at it. "Is one of my favorites, she was so happy when they won. That tournament was when we realized that Quinn was very competitive and winning, and beating people was something that she enjoyed; she was a good sport and never bullied you if you lost but if she lost well let's just say she was never a good sport in that area." Rachel laughed and glanced at the kitchen entrance, where the blonde had entered. _

"_Well she's always been a good competitor. It's one of the many things I love about her; her drive and passion will get her far in life one day." Rachel said, and she swallowed thickly when the blonde had showed her presence and leaned against the archway frame, that led into the kitchen. Her soft pink lips pulled into a shy smile, a shy smile that made Rachel want to melt at the sight._

_The diva pulled herself up off of the couch and walked over to her girlfriend, she stood on her tip toes just a little bit as she leaned up to peck the girls lips. Quinn licked her lips after the brief kiss and opened her arms, inviting Rachel into them. The diva took up the offer and snuggled herself into the familiar arms, that she would always call home. _

_Quinn rubbed her back softly and kissed the top of her head, "I am never letting my mother bring out another photo album again." The blonde muttered, causing Rachel's chest to shake lightly as she released a laugh. _

Rachel took a second to swallow thickly before she continued singing.

"And I know it's long gone  
And there was nothing else I could do  
And I forget about you long enough  
To forget why I needed to..."

The song was beginning to sting, because as she sang it every memory replayed in her head and it was beginning to pull at her heart strings. Loving _her_ was one of the most challenging things she had ever done, and still loving _her_ was the most difficult.

" 'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night.  
We dance around the kitchen in the refrigerator light  
Down the stairs, I was there, I remember it all too well, yeah."

"_You are the only person I've ever known who practically craves a full course meal at midnight." Rachel said softly as she opened the fridge; they hadn't been able to sleep and Quinn was staying the weekend in New York and they had spent most of the night in bed, being intimate and catching up on days of pleasure they had missed, cramming it all in one day. They had been away from each other far too long due to school getting the best of them, and their third year was half over and they both realized that as time went on, school beat you harder. However they had finally managed to clear up their schedules and spend some days together, and they both couldn't be happier at the presence of the other. _

_They were both exhausted, but Quinn had refused to go to sleep until she ate because her stomach was begging for food. "Well, in my defense we haven't really eaten anything all day." _

_Rachel turned to her girlfriend and a sexy smirk played with her lips and her eyes sparkled with lust, passion and love as her mind worked, "Oh, Quinn you definitely ate today." The brunette winked and Quinn blushed, a deep shade of red tinted her skin and she bit her bottom lip, remembering back on the moment. _

_Rachel pulled out some food, and before she began to prepare it she flipped on the IPod dock that she and Kurt had splurged on. The diva loved to listen to music as she cooked, and Kurt was the same. Quinn enjoyed it, because her and Rachel always tended to have a blast while dancing around the kitchen, while they baked or cooked. The brunette left, for a few seconds before returning with her IPod and she placed it inside the dock and decided on a song. It played back with a little bit of volume, enough so that they could hear it, but low enough so that it didn't wake up Kurt. _

_The song began to fill the room and Rachel began to hum along, her hips shaking a little as she cut up the pieces of tofu that she was going to fry up in a pan for her; a pack of bacon for Quinn rested close by, and was practically staring at her in the face. She wrinkled her nose, still not understanding how the woman could eat it. Quinn began to shake her hips to the tune as well. The song was slow and sensual, causing the environment to spike with electricity, and the blonde-who was rooting through the refrigerator-abandoned the fridge not bothering to close it. The light from the kitchen appliance filled the dark kitchen and the blonde made her way over to her girlfriend, and slowly pulled the knife from her hand and sat it down on the counter. _

"_Dance with me." Quinn whispered into the diva's ear, her hot breath ghosting along Rachel's skin causing the diva to shudder. _

_Rachel turned away from the food, that luckily she hadn't started cooking and looked up at her girlfriend, who held out her hand generously. The diva took it without hesitation and Quinn laced their fingers and placed her other hand around Rachel's waist. Another slow song had come on and they began to sway together gently, their bodies pressed together and their lips were inches apart as they danced. It was an activity that didn't happen much, but when it did Rachel loved it, she often thought about what it would feel like to have that first dance at their wedding. She imagined it would feel as perfect as this, except much better. _

_Quinn raised their joined hands, bringing their arms up and she twirled Rachel causing the girl to giggle. The blonde smiled and pulled her back in; their bodies were closer now as their positions changed. Rachel now had her arms around Quinn's neck while the blonde had her arms rested around Rachel's waist. Quinn pecked her girlfriend's lips softly, not being able to resist them and she was rewarded with a deeper kiss which wound up ending the dance abruptly as Quinn found herself being pushed against the counter, and Rachel's soft, delicate lips soon attached to her own. After a while they travelled to her neck, and they lost themselves in passion that overtook them in that kitchen, neither one of them would be able to erase the night that they finally filled the kitchen with their moans, gasps and groans as they made love against the counter. _

"Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much,  
And maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up.  
Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well."

_Quinn sat on Rachel's couch, she stared at the wall in front of her. Her body was there, but her mind wasn't; it hadn't been since she had arrived at the diva's loft. The blonde had her head stuck elsewhere for the last few days, and Rachel noticed but hadn't commented; she knew pushing Quinn to open up had always been the wrong move. However, she couldn't help but wonder if it was something serious. The ex-cheerleader had been distant and continued to push her away for the last couple weeks and it was beginning to sting. The worst part was Quinn held up her defenses almost every time they talked, and she couldn't seem to get through them just like before they had been friends._

_When the blonde arrived earlier that day, she was extremely distant, not just emotionally but physically as well. Rachel didn't manage to get a hello kiss in, and the only thing she managed to get all day had been a simple peck on her cheek and it killed her inside. It wasn't hard to know that something bad was coming, but Rachel couldn't think that. The thought of losing Quinn hurt too much and she convinced herself that Quinn was probably just in a funk; like she had been once during high school after they got together. That had been fixed fairly soon, and the diva believed she could fix whatever was happening to Quinn, and had decided to still go through with what she was going to originally that day. It was a huge step, but that had already taken one. In their third year of College, Rachel proposed-even thought it was soon-and Quinn was quick to say yes. The huge step was taken, and now there was one more the diva wanted to take, before they tied the knot, in a month. They had talked about it, after the diva proposed and they wanted to have a wedding, fairly soon after they graduated college. Here they were, freshly out of four years of intense schooling, four years of delving themselves into their dreams. For Rachel it was music, plays, and planning her future with Quinn. For Quinn it was writing, school plays, and thinking about her future with Rachel. _

_Thinking about her future with Rachel and her writing is what brought her to the diva's apartment that day. It wasn't just a regular visit; no it was so much more than that. Spending the day with Rachel had been hard, especially with every thought she was hiding racing through her mind. As the blonde sat there on the couch, she absentmindedly played with the ring on her finger, the one that matched Rachel's engagement ring perfectly (Rachel had gotten them both one). She closed her eyes for a brief moment and attempted to hide all of her emotions, which she had been doing for days now. It was becoming simple, and the blonde hated that it was getting to the point where she didn't even have to force herself to do so, there was no effort. She didn't open her sad hazel eyes until the couch dipped slightly beside her and she jumped, in shock but in a little bit of fear. It was getting close, the time of goodbye and as she turned to face Rachel her heart broke; the brunette had no idea what was about to come. _

"_Quinn, I can't help but notice that you've been a little distant today…is something wrong?" _

_The blonde swallowed, it wasn't time yet so she nodded. "I'm fine Rachel." Her voice said different, as the words came out flat, and held no emotion. It pulled at Rachel's heart and that nagging feeling deep inside of her gut, telling her that something was about to happen came into full swing again. She pushed it down. _

"_Well…I was wondering if we could discuss something…" _

_Quinn shifted a little bit, turning her body to face Rachel. Her eyes studied the other girl's face, her deep chocolate eyes and the way they softly stared at her, so full of love and devotion. Her lips, so soft and inviting and they were just waiting to be kissed by her own. So, she kissed them; with need, passion and pain. When she pulled away her eyes went back to searching the love of her life's face. Rachel as she grew older became more beautiful. The blonde swallowed thickly as she raked her eyes over everything she loved about the diva's gorgeous appearance, and soon her body. It was almost as if she was remembering this exact moment, capturing the moment in an internal photograph. She was capturing the woman before her, and she couldn't believe she was going to do what she was about to do; but it was what was best according to her mind. _

"_Quinn…" _

_The blonde's eyes snapped up to gentle orbs, and she took in a deep breath, "What do you want to talk about Rachel?" Once again, there was no emotion and the diva's heart began to speed up. _

"_Well, I was thinking, we are both done school and you no longer have to be in New Haven so I was hoping you'd move in. I mean we're engaged, and we'll be married soon and I really think that we should tackle the move before the wedding. I'm sick of not having you here, and I know it's getting to you as well but-" _

"_Rachel…" The soft, strangled tone cut the diva's words off and she looked at her fiancé; and when their eyes connected the look Quinn was giving her made her gasp. "I-I can't move in with you…" _

"_W-what?" Rachel swallowed thickly, this can't be happening she thought to herself. _

"_I wanted to tell you earlier but I didn't know how…" _

_Rachel sucked in a deep breath of air, "Tell me what Quinn?" _

"_About a month before graduation, my drama teacher sent in copies of the plays I wrote to her friend. He…" Quinn took in a deep breath, "He's a screen writer and he loved my plays; he told me they were original, gripping and that my writing was deep and phenomenal. I was blown away by what he was saying Rachel." Rachel smiled at her girlfriend, proud of her but it wasn't her normal smile. "He offered me a job." _

"_That's great Quinn, I'm so proud of you." _

_Quinn smiled weakly, "Thanks Rach…" The blonde looked away, and bit her bottom lip; the taste of copper filled her mouth and she sighed noticing she had bit her lip a little bit. _

"_But, how does this stop you from moving in?" _

_Here it was, and Quinn was waiting for it. It was the moment where everything was going to change; the moment that was going to be laced with tears, heartbreak and goodbyes. _

"_It's in California…" _

"_Oh…" Rachel's response was barely audible and this whole event was breaking Quinn's heart. She also knew it was breaking Rachel's. "I-it's a big opportunity Quinn, you can't pass up your dream." The diva added. _

"_I know. That's why I'm going to take the job." _

_Rachel nodded, "When do you have to leave?" _

"_When I accept it, I'll have to be there in a couple weeks." Quinn took in a deep breath and began to play with her ring some more, the action still going unnoticed by the diva. _

_Rachel bit her bottom lip, and took in a deep breath. There was a lingering question in the back of her mind, but she didn't want to ask it; she couldn't. Instead she looked at Quinn and as their eyes connected once more; her eyes began to water because she didn't even need to ask the question to receive her answer. _

"_I think it's best if we…" Quinn swallowed thickly, the tears were attempting to form already and her throat was laced with them. She cleared her throat, in hopes to bury them but that only made it worse. "I-I can't do this Rachel…" _

_Rachel's bottom lips quivered and she looked at the blonde with a broken expression; her eyes had already shed their first few tears, and as she stared at the girl she loved, all she could feel was her heart breaking. "D-do what?" That time Rachel asked a question, even though she knew the answer. But the moment she said it, she regretted it. _

"_Us." Was Quinn's response. Her voice had cracked and Rachel could tell by the way she was acting that Quinn didn't want to do this, that she convinced herself this was what was right but she could also tell that Quinn had made this decision a little bit ago, and wasn't going to change her mind. When the blonde made a decision, she rarely changed it. _

"_You're leaving me weeks before our wedding...?" Rachel couldn't believe what she was saying or what was happening. "Q-Quinn…please…please don't do this." The begging broke the blonde's heart even more. "We can make it work. We could do the distance, I could visit and…I could even move there with you." _

"_I couldn't ask you to do that Rachel. You have dreams to, and you can't just walk away from New York and Broadway. This is where you belong, and I'm not going to drag you away from it all." _

"_Quinn," The blonde had taken off her ring, but the brunette still hadn't noticed because she had been too focused on her girlfriend's expressions. "You wouldn't be dragging me away from it. I've been on stage, I've experienced my dreams and now it's your turn." _

"_No, Rachel you have to stay here and you have to perform on that stage. You can't leave because of me." Quinn whispered before standing up. "This is what's best…for both of us." _

"_No it's not Quinn!" Rachel raised her voice as she slowly stood up, on shaky legs. This wasn't happening, she thought once again but this time she couldn't deny it. "It's not what's best! You're giving up on us! You're running away because you're scared, you're scared of our future of __**your**__ future just like you've always been!" Rachel's anger was coming out now, her defenses were raising as her heart continued breaking. "You're scared about the wedding, scared about what's to come just like you were in high school; you need to take a chance on us! You need to realize that I still have my dreams, but I will always follow you and yours as well! You need to let me come with you…" Her anger was shifting into sadness, and her tone turned into a pleading one, "Please just…let me come with you." _

"_You can't come with me Rachel. You were meant for Broadway and I…I need to do this. I have to do this without you because I can't drag you down, and I can't take you away from the one thing you worked your whole life to achieve." _

"_Damn it Quinn Fabray, stop trying to make decisions for me!" Rachel yelled, her resolve slowly breaking. Her cheeks were wet with a stream of tears and she couldn't hold them back, but she wasn't the only one who was crying. _

"_You can't hate me for sending you on your way Rachel!" _

"_I could never hate you! You're standing there…fucking," Quinn winced as she heard the curse word fall from Rachel's mouth, she knew that meant this was bad, "standing there breaking my heart and even that won't make me hate you." Rachel wiped her eyes and walked over to Quinn, and she began to cry harder as the blonde took a few steps back, "Please…please don't leave me." _

"_I'm sorry Rachel…I can't." Quinn shocked Rachel as she took a step forward and the brunette looked at her with watery eyes. The blonde reached out and took Rachel's hand in her own and before the diva could process what was happening the blonde placed the ring in her hand, closing the diva's fingers over it; making a loose fist. "I love you Rachel and I always will but we both need this. We need time to follow our dreams…apart." _

"_Quinn…" Her voice was broken, and sounded like the diva was suffocating. "We're not over…" she whimpered out; she couldn't believe it. The ring was digging into her skin, but she still didn't want to believe it. _

"_Yes we are Rachel..." _

_Rachel shook her head and looked up at her soul mate, "We'll never be over Quinn, I know that and you know that." The diva swallowed hard, and licked her dry lips. _

"_But for now we are Rachel." _

_They both cried, and Rachel even let the other girl hold her. She never wanted to let go, and she fisted the back of the blonde's shirt, but no matter how long she held onto her or how tight eventually the ex-cheerleader pulled away. There was a wet stain on Quinn's shirt, from her old lovers tears but she didn't care, all she cared about was the broken girl before her but she knew she couldn't cave, knew she couldn't turn back on her decision. _

"_One day we'll be together again Quinn…I know it." Rachel said, trying desperately to hold onto that, and convince herself of that. _

_Quinn leaned in and gently pressed her lips against soft, pink ones that although Rachel was breaking down, were still so inviting. For the blonde, they always were. "One day." The blonde whispered, it was soft, and the broken tone made it sting but a small piece of hope rested inside the brunette's heaving chest, due to the promise. _

_Just like that, it was over and Rachel felt her slip away and watching her walk away caused her to crumple and fall apart. They will always remember it as the day they went separate ways, the day Quinn gave up love for their dreams and the day Rachel felt her whole world fall apart, and her heart shatter. _

Rachel almost cried at the sudden memory of losing the one thing she ever really loved; the one person she only really needed. Her heart began to ache and she looked down briefly, and blinked back tears her voice growing thick.

"Hey, you write me again just to break me like a promise.  
So casually cruel in the name of being honest.  
I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here  
'Cause I remember it all, all, all... too well."

_It had been a few months since Quinn had left and the diva had spent most of it empty and numb, except for when she was onstage; that's when she began to hide it and the actress in her took over. It was a Tuesday night, after work when she walked into her loft and Kurt was sitting at the table; classifieds in front of him (he was planning on finding his own place, and path in New York; everyone was leaving her) and there was something else; A pile of mail, sitting close to the paper. Kurt heard the groan escape the diva as she shed off her classy sweater and draped it over the back of the couch, temporarily. The diva walked over to the table and took a seat in one of the chairs. Her eyes settled on the boy and he looked at her with deep sympathy. He didn't say anything, all he did was take the letter from the top of the pile and slide it over to her. She glanced down at it and her throat tightened; her chest felt heavy and like someone was crushing it. Her heart pounded and her eyes began to tear up. Quinn's handwriting graced the envelope and she choked back a few tears, she hadn't heard from her since the break-up and everything was still so fresh and her heart hadn't healed. She was convinced it never would; holding onto that One Day was the only thing getting her through lonely nights, draining days and restless sleeps. _

"_It's from Quinn." She said, voicing her thoughts out loud. The boy nodded, he had known. _

_Rachel took her time with opening the envelope. Quinn always did prefer writing, especially letters. She should have expected this but she didn't. She didn't know what to expect anymore, especially when it came to the blonde. Soon her fingers came in contact with a piece of paper and her breath hitched as she began to pull it out. _

_The sound of the paper crackling filled the apartment and Kurt watched her carefully, getting ready to catch her if she fell and broke herself more. The paper unfolded slowly and soon Rachel eyes were glued to it, and she began to read. _

_Dear Rachel, _

_I know it hasn't been long since we've spoken last but I hated the memories of the last words we said; I wanted to say something better, leave you with something from my heart instead of horrible words that came from a horrible decision. I was thinking about you today, about how we use to take those long walks when we first began dating, in the park when it snowed back in Lima, and our parents would yell at us for thirty minutes explaining how wrong it is to sneak out at midnight, to meet your girlfriend at the park where crazy people could be lurking. Or at least your fathers thought that we'd run into a crazy person, when back then we were the two crazy people, crazy for each other…young and in love (Oh, how that January winter was good to us). We're still in love, just older and wiser and these things get harder. I wish we could go back to those days/those months, where we would explore that park and spend hours just sitting under a tree cuddling, talking, or near the water throwing rocks into it. I laugh when I think about the day I taught you how to skip a rock, and you taught me how to be free and make all my worries disappear. When I think about that park, I think about that willow tree that we hung out by, and that you just had to scratch our initials in, like in the movies. You claimed it was cliché and the perfect way to make our love permanent. I smiled, and you laughed. That became our tree; we fell asleep as we lay on the grass, cuddled up underneath it. We made love against it, that night when we couldn't keep our hands to ourselves because we had just made love for the first time days before then. That park became our spot, and when I miss us that's where my mind floats back to. I miss you everyday Rachel, and I have to fight myself to not call and to not show up on your doorstep to sweep you up into my arms and make everything go back to how it use to be. It can't happen right now, but one day. One day, it's a pretty big promise but I have faith that we'll have that Rach, we always will. After all we were meant to be together, and I've come to realize that if we were meant to be together then we'll come back to the other. If you set someone free and if it's meant to be, they'll come back. I want you to perform your heart out, as if you're performing for me every night in the audience. I want you to put your heart and soul into it, as if I was waiting in your dressing room with a smile on my face, waiting to give you a lovesick kiss; like all those times. Or like those times I pushed you against the door, to show how proud I was of you and how much I loved you. I want you to know that I still love you, and I know this will hurt when you read it but I needed to tell you all of this, because Rachel it will always be you. Even if one day we don't find our way back and we fall in love with total strangers and move on, it will always be you. You're my first love, the one person I will never be able to let go of. Rachel, you are truly amazing, and you really don't know how amazing you are but one day you'll figure that out and if someone else does and snatches you up; I wish you two the best because you deserve to be happy. You deserve love babe, and if you find it in the form of someone else, promise me you won't hold yourself back just because I promised we'd be together one day. Let yourself dream, love, make mistakes, cry, smile, laugh and most of all let yourself be happy, With or without me. I love you Rachel, and I know you love me. I'll keep all the times you told me so, close to my heart and I'll remember those words on the days that I feel totally alone in this world. _

_Be happy, and smile…if not for you, then for me xoxo_

_P.S. That scarf of yours, the one your grandmother made you, as you've noticed is the one thing I haven't returned to you. I won't return it until the time is right, for now it's tucked neatly in my drawer. It's the one thing I have left of you, it holds your innocence that you held that day, and it smells like you. I kept it because I'm not over you, and I'll keep it until the day that our relationship fades away. I'll keep it until we can make a new beginning, with or without each other. In return, all I ask is that you keep that bear that I won you at the carnival back in high school, and never give it back because as corny, and cheesy as I am being they are the two things connecting us. I'll keep the remaining piece of your heart safe, if you keep mine safe. After all those possessions are a part of us, a part of our heart and we hold them close. _

_Love Always, Quinn_

_Rachel crumpled up the piece of paper in her fist, and cried. It was all she could do, and Kurt was right there by her side, like he had been since the blonde said goodbye. _

"Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it  
I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it  
After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own"

_Summer after high school graduation. The summer before they went two different ways, yet would remain together. The summer that they were going to spend, being together intimately and emotionally. It was their summer, their summer together. It was a date night, a casual one and the last thing Rachel expected was to be pushed inside her vacant house (her fathers had gone away for a week), her lips smashed against Quinn's, the door being slammed shut by the blonde's foot and her back being slammed against the closest wall. Then again when Quinn wanted her, she wanted her and was very forward about it. The blonde gripped the plaid shirt the diva was wearing, her fashion sense definitely improved since high school and those plaid shirts soon became Quinn's favorite. _

_Rachel gasped as soft lips trailed down her jaw and her neck. Hands got lost in the fabric of their clothing, and hair and moans and groans echoed through the room. They made out against the wall, dueling tongues, lips dancing together and bodies pressed against each other. It didn't take long for them to want more. Soon Quinn was aching and Rachel was begging for release. A delicate hand slid in between them and slender fingers soon trailed down past Rachel's waistband that belonged to her shorts. The moment Rachel felt the fingers slide into her panties, the moaning picked up and she had rocked her hips into the light brush that Quinn's fingers made along her center. _

"_Quinn please," had caused the blonde to groan, and the words seemed to bounce off the walls and heat the moment up even more. _

_It didn't take much begging for Quinn to slide two fingers inside of her girlfriend. They fucked softly and slowly at first, and although they were against a wall and the brunette's legs were wrapped around her waist Quinn was soft and gentle. It wasn't until Rachel's hips rocked, and she even moved them in circles at certain times wanting more friction and that was when Quinn would go in deeper and speed it up. Quinn thrusted into her girlfriend, reveling in the way her walls were tight around her fingers, and how it felt to be inside her. Soon, she had let out a moan and it filled the room, Rachel's center had clenched around her fingers and Quinn had slammed into her one last time before the diva completely came undone, the blonde's name falling from her lips effortlessly. The ex-cheerleader managed to hold Rachel up, and soon the diva lowered her legs and kissed her girlfriend deeply. She could never get enough of this. It didn't take long for her to grab Quinn's hand and lead her up the stairs to the bedroom, to continue their night of passion, and to return the favor. They both had known they wouldn't get any sleep that night, and that it would be one of many nights when Quinn made the other girl her own and vice versa. Both girls would always remember the night Rachel's plaid shirt wound up torn and on the floor; the night bras and panties landed on lampshades, the night where sometimes rougher could be better. It was a night that was shortly after their first time making love with one another, which had been prom, which wasn't long before. _

"Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone."

Rachel had stopped playing her guitar it was too hard, but the boys she had onstage with her had kept the song going, and Jon glanced at her, hoping that she okay. Rachel didn't return the gaze instead she looked in front of her, her eyes scanning the crowd. She wanted the girl to be there desperately, it was her last show in California and all though she didn't know where in California _she_ lived (that one letter she received, never had a return address on it) her heart was hoping she'd be there. Her heart was screaming for _her_, she needed _her_.

"But you keep my old scarf from that very first week  
'Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me  
You can't get rid of it 'cause you remember it all too well, yeah"

The brunette took in a deep breath, before she sang the next verse. It was painful, and she didn't know how long she could perform this song at concerts before she removed it from the set list.

"'Cause there we are again, when I loved you so  
Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known  
It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well

Wind in my hair, you were there, you remember it all  
Down the stairs, you were there, you remember it all  
It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well"

Rachel managed to finish the song, her sign of the pain that remained was shown in a single tear that trailed down her cheek, which she quickly wiped away. She held the other ones back and sniffled before smiling at her audience and basking in the applause that surrounded her.

…

"That was a great show tonight." Jon said as they walked backstage, heading towards Rachel's dressing room. The brunette was exhausted it had been a long show, and the meet and greets afterward also took a lot out of her. However, she wouldn't change her job for the world.

"One of my best…" Rachel whispered.

The diva froze for a moment when they reached her door and a single Gardena was taped on it, a simple note was rolled around the stem, and hidden under the piece of tape as well so it wouldn't fall, or blow away. She swallowed thickly. She wanted to reach out and peel it off the door, she wanted to read the note but the diva just stood there staring at it for a few moments. Her mind had drifted off to a smiling blonde, with deep hazel eyes, and an angelic voice. Gardena's were their thing, had been ever since Quinn gave her one on their first date.

"Rach…you okay?" Jon asked breaking the spell the brunette had fallen under.

The diva cleared her throat and blinked a few times, allowing herself to come back down to earth. "Yeah…" Her voice was distant, and she took a step forward.

She reached her hand out once, before pulling it back. She closed her eyes momentarily before reaching out for it again, and this time she peeled the flower off of the door and looked down at it. Beautiful, she thought and as she glanced at the note her chest tightened slightly, the last letter (besides fan mail) had come from _her_. The brunette held onto the flower carefully as she peeled the piece of tape off of the stem/paper and handed it to Jon, who took it from her. Something he was use to doing with many things. She swallowed thickly as she unwrapped the note from the stem, and her eyes quickly looked up at her friend and she smiled at him sweetly.

"Can you hold this for a second?" Rachel asked him, handing him the flower delicately. He nodded and took it from her.

Rachel opened the note slowly, much like she did when she received that letter. The writing soon came into view, and she sighed heavily when she recognized the writing. Written across the letter, were few words but Rachel's heart swelled when she read them.

Rachel,

You were amazing tonight, just like I always knew you would be. Also you looked stunning as always.

Soon

Xoxo

Rachel read the note a few times, her breath hitching every time. Her chocolate orbs focused on the word soon; she never really grasped that word. Soon had many different meanings, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months…it was impossible to know what someone meant when they said soon. She furrowed her eyebrows wondering what _she_ meant, by the word. Her heart rate picked up, once she allowed her realization to dawn on her. _She_ had been there, watching her.

_Quinn_ had been there.

It didn't take the diva long to retrieve what she needed from the dressing room, before leaving the building. She wouldn't be here again, and she needed to make sure she had everything, and as she walked toward her tour bus-with the flower in hand-she talked to Jon, who mentioned that they seemed to have gathered everything up, and that they'd be heading to the hotel soon, and then tomorrow morning they'd be leaving California. Rachel sighed, remembering her next stop is far from California, far from _her_. The brunette looked down at her feet as they grow closer to the bus and she kicked a rock on the ground and it bounced along the pavement slowly and Rachel watched its journey, which is stopped when it hits a white shoe. Her eyes slowly take in that someone is standing there and soon her eyes trail up the shoe, then the person's legs, and the rest of their body until her eyes connect with intense hazel ones. Her breath is knocked out of her and she felt like fainting but instead she stood there, stuck in place. Her eyes are glued to the other girl's, and she can't look away even if she wanted to.

"Hey Rach…" her voice is soft, and still held that amazing raspy, sexy, relaxation to it.

Rachel swallowed thickly and blinked a few times, wondering if the blonde before her was really there. Quinn looked relatively the same, after all it hadn't been to long since they parted ways but it felt like forever. Her hair had grown, and it now rested comfortable below her shoulders. Her eyes began to water at the sight of the other girl; she hadn't really dated since the other girl left her. She had a few dates, and even had a few hook-up's it was only natural but she never felt a connection and she only ever wanted the blonde to return to her. She wanted to greet her, but the moment she opened her mouth nothing came out and so she just closed it. Quinn smiled at the action and Rachel managed to smile back, no matter how much this girl broke her heart she just wanted to kiss her and have her again.

Quinn, since the brunette didn't say anything decided to take the opportunity and do so, "I have something for you." The blonde's voice was a whisper and she glanced at Jon briefly as he stood their beside the brunette. Rachel had forgotten about his presence and when her eyes followed where the blonde was looking, she smiled a little.

"Give us a minute?"

Quinn's heart fluttered at Rachel's voice, oh how she missed hearing it every day.

Jon nodded, and Quinn shifted to the side of the tour bus door, out of his way and he slipped into the bus; out of sight and out of mind. Once they were alone Quinn swallowed thickly and opened her purse and reached a hand into it. She pulled out something pink, and something awfully familiar to Rachel. The brunette's heart pounded in her chest, she was suddenly confused. She wasn't sure if the blonde was giving it back because they were finished for good, or because she wanted her back and it was time to return it. That damn letter, she thought to herself.

"I thought you'd need it more then I would." Quinn's silky voice caused Rachel to shiver slightly and her eyes began to water.

"You can keep it." She said flatly.

Quinn shook her head and stepped closer to the brunette, "It's time to give it back. I've had it far too long, and now all I want is the real thing. The person that this" Quinn held out her hand, waiting for Rachel to take it, "belongs to."

Rachel blinked a few times, and although it's not romantic, or sweet, or full of love the only reaction Rachel had was "What?"

Quinn giggled and Rachel closed her eyes briefly, that giggle use to put her to sleep sometimes because it's so gentle on the ears and comforting.

"I promised you a one day Rachel."

The brunette's eyes tear up, and she swallowed thickly allowing them to spill over slightly. Quinn took another step forward and when her finger brushed the diva's cheek, Rachel suddenly can't breathe. The blonde wiped away the watery substance that had escaped and before Rachel could process what she's doing she took another step forward and stood up on her tip toes and pressed her lips to the blonde's gentle lips. They kissed, and it felt as if they never stopped. Quinn grabbed onto the girl's hips, as best she could and pulled her closer, causing their bodies to mesh and Rachel can't help but let out a moan. It had been far too long, and she needed those lips desperately, she had needed them since the day the blonde walked away.

Quinn suddenly pulled away and it caused Rachel to frown, and groan at the loss of her lips, Quinn smiled at the diva's reaction, taking it as a good one. "Are you seeing anyone?" the blonde was blunt, yet tentative as she asked and Rachel smiled up at her softly.

"No, and I would assume that you aren't either because if you were I highly doubt you'd be standing in front of my tour bus, kissing me and making me fall for you all over again Quinn Fabray." Rachel looked into her eyes, "Then again, that's easy to do since I never stopped loving you."

The words were enough to cause Quinn to reconnect their lips. Their lips danced together in a soft languid kiss. It spoke volumes, so much more than their words ever could. It held unspoken promises, promise of a future together, love, passion, pain, hurt, mended hearts and it also told them both that they were finally home. The blonde slowly pulled away, and kept their foreheads pressed together, their breaths melding together as their lips remained close; almost hovering.

"I remember," Quinn whispered softly, her words painting Rachel's lips as they were breathed out, "all too well." Rachel's heart beat picked up at her song being quoted and she connected their lips once more.

...

**Note:** _I thought I would post a short, well it's not that short, one shot while I continue to write my longer stories. I'm going to try and get one up soon, but writing them takes a while. However, completing them before posting them, will be better for you guys because then...less update wait :) _


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